Every day I fight against myself. I have no reason to wake up so I lay in bed for hours staring unto nothing. I have nothing to look forward to. I wake up to silence. I speak aloud yet no one hears me. I yearn for comfort & there’s no one to hold me. I beg for strength to fight while I’m weak. I cry from heartache. I scream again &still no one is there.
I close my eyes tight and pray; are you listening? My faith is the only thing I continue to hold onto. I have nothing else to lose. All that I believed to have loved with my heart is gone. I am no one to anyone; while others can go on.
I sit here and think about where I am now. I am where I am supposed to be. I am living how it’s destined to be. This is what you have lead me to believe. I trust in you when you showed me the way. Times like this I feel nothing but abandoned.
You allowed for others to hurt & break me. You weren’t there for me. All through life I have fought alone. I pray for the day when you’re proud of me. When I no longer shed a tear for believing you actually cared of my despair.
Every day I fight against myself. All my secrets and pain will slowly diminish. I must fight harder before the finish. I often wondered why or how I am still standing here today. I believe its times like this when writing is what gets me through.
I have nothing else to lose. I accept what is and what will become of me. I have nothing to offer except my love; that is ALL that’s left of me.