Strength & Weakness

I pour my soul into these words, bleeding out the pain that consumes me. I write not to show strength, but to release the crushing weight from my trembling heart. This act of writing is my cry for relief, a desperate attempt to heal the wounds that threaten to drown me. I am tired of burdening others with my sorrow, my truth is too raw, too heavy to carry alone.

Sometimes I wonder how I survive it all, how I breathe through this ache that feels endless. Yet amidst the turmoil, I am forever grateful, blessed beyond measure, to have my family and friends standing like anchors when I feel I might be swept away. I am thankful for the roof overhead, a bed to rest in, and the unwavering love and support from those closest to me.

To those who truly see me, you understand the battles I’ve fought my whole life. You know I believe in a higher power, that no matter what God allows, I am resilient enough to endure. I hold onto hope, trusting deeply that this darkness will pass that this chapter is not the end of my story. Shamefully, I admit there are nights when despair becomes so overwhelming, I wrestle with the thought of just ending it all, to escape this constant misery. But then I grab my pen, and I write with everything I have left. Sometimes I reach for my phone, seeking a voice to hear, a connection to remind me I am not alone. Yet even in these moments, I hesitate; afraid of burdening others with my pain, unwilling to become a source of sorrow for those I love.

Even as I walk with my head held high and wear a smile so bright. I conceal the ache deep within my soul. I laugh without pause, pretending everything is alright, yet inside, a storm rages silently. I hide my pain so fiercely that sometimes, when I’m alone in the shadows, I’m overwhelmed by fear, the fear of how much I’ve kept inside, the fear of the darkness I've fought so hard to hide.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but sometimes it overwhelms me so deeply, I start to believe I am. I find myself asking, why do so many bad things keep happening to me? I search for answers, but they remain just out of reach. All I can do is hold onto my faith, believing with all my heart that GOD will see me through every storm, every pain, every heartbreak. It’s that unwavering trust that keeps me hanging on, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

This is my reality. This is my unspoken truth. And though it wounds me, I cling to the hope that one day, brighter days will come. Until then, I will continue to fight, to write, to pray for healing, for peace, for strength to carry on.

Thank you for reading & as always "I Got This".... )0(

Let's Do This.

I feel lost, completely overwhelmed by life. I used to love writing. I needed it. Now, by the time I come home from my daily grind, I don’t even have the mental strength to sit in front of a computer. We’re all told to slow down, to breathe, to enjoy life but when you’ve spent the entire day on the phone with insurance idiots who can barely be understood and patients who don’t understand insurance at all, the last thing you want to do is stare at a screen and try to create something meaningful.

I miss the days when inspiration hit me at any hour, day or night. A poem, a thought, a feeling and my fingers would fly across the keyboard without hesitation. My writing felt effortless. Now, those moments feel so far away. I’m exhausted. I’m angry sometimes, and that isn’t who I am. I don’t recognize this version of myself.

I feel overworked, underappreciated, and just fucking tired. My body hurts constantly because of the debilitating health issues I carry every single day. Still, I show up. I crack jokes. I smile. I make it look easy. But inside, I feel like I’m slowly dying. How long am I supposed to keep living like this?  I told myself I had two more years of me to give until retirement at 62. But with the way my body and mind feel right now, I honestly don’t know if I’ll make it there.  I’m not even sure what this blog is supposed to be. I just know I hit a moment so deep, so heavy, that I heard myself say, “WRITE IT OUT, LYNN.” So, here I am. Maybe this is the beginning of finding my way back. Maybe it’s a reminder of what once made me feel alive. Maybe it’s just survival. Maybe it’s my wakeup call to pour out my soul through my words because it defines who I am. I don't know. I simply have to follow my heart and keep reminding myself that life is short, and tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. I need to start listening to the words I’m always telling everyone else: slow down, breathe, and live for yourself not for others. IYKYK. 

So, having said all of this I will now lay my body down for some long overdue rest for the next 10-12 hours with hopes of feeling back on track in the next few days. I thank you all for listening, reading and as always "I Got This."

Till Tomorrow... )0(

Temptation

Temptation can be difficult to resist for individuals who are married or in committed relationships. It may create the illusion that one deserves more or should seek something different, ultimately disrupting every aspect of life. The question then becomes whether such temptation is worth the risk of losing everything one has built. At times, individuals become so consumed by their own dissatisfaction that the attention or influence of someone outside the relationship is enough to lead them astray.

This dynamic appears frequently in long-term relationships, particularly among couples who have been together for decades. Familiarity, routine, and unresolved dissatisfaction can make individuals more vulnerable. While the ability to resist temptation depends on personal values and circumstances, there are instances where no clear or rational explanation exists.

For men who succumb to temptation, the behavior is often attributed to a “midlife crisis.” Whether this is an excuse or a legitimate psychological experience remains a topic of debate. Traditionally, men are thought to reach their sexual peak earlier in life, which raises the question of whether changes in desire during their forties or fifties contribute to impulsive behavior. A midlife crisis is commonly defined as a period of emotional turmoil rooted in unfulfilled ambitions and dissatisfaction with one’s self-image. These feelings may stem from career choices, health concerns, financial stress, or unmet personal goals. The psychological impact can be significant, leading to anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms, often without the individual recognizing the underlying cause. Unfortunately, by the time this realization occurs, the consequences such as the loss of relationships or stability may already be irreversible.

When women engage in relationships outside of marriage or long-term partnerships, the behavior is more often labeled simply as an affair rather than a midlife crisis. Common contributing factors include emotional neglect, lack of affection, and loneliness. While these factors do not justify the behavior, they are frequently cited as underlying reasons.

During a midlife crisis, love and commitment may lose priority for men experiencing this phase. The belief that personal freedom or reinvention will lead to happiness can become all-consuming. For some, this perception may result in positive change; for others, it leads to self-sabotage and unforeseen consequences. The pursuit of an imagined better life can overshadow the value of what already exists.

Ultimately, individuals going through this crisis often prioritize their own needs and desires above all else. They may abandon established lives in favor of uncertainty, believing it to be necessary for personal fulfillment. This behavior is not necessarily a reflection of their partner’s worth or effort; rather, it stems from internal dissatisfaction and a desire for autonomy. In such cases, no external influence can alter the outcome.

It is important to recognize that once choices are made during this period of crisis, reconciliation is not guaranteed. A midlife crisis is, by definition, a turning point; one that can lead individuals away from stability and toward an uncertain future, often at a significant personal cost.

If you fall into temptation and lose yourself, along with all that you built with your significant other. Do yourselves a favor and truly think before you act on impulse and ending up losing the best years of your life for an illusion of what you hope is going to be.

Til Tomorrow.. )0( ©itzlynnhere2025 

 

 

Change & Grief

Things shift and people grow, yet for some, time seems frozen stuck in a silent, unchanging moment. The relentless march of time can wear down your soul, leaving scars you never saw coming. One second, you might be overflowing with happiness, feeling on top of the world, and in the next, everything you hold dear can be shattered, forever altered in an instant. The ache of that sudden change is overwhelming, a reminder of how fragile and unpredictable life truly is.

What do you do when this happens? Do you point fingers at the universe, blame someone else, or feel helpless? No, it’s not about fault, it’s about the raw, undeniable truth that life can change in a heartbeat. These upheavals can come from anywhere, anyone, anything. The death of a beloved, the crushing loss of a job, the heartbreaking end of a marriage or relationship. It could be anything that rips apart your sense of peace and leaves you trembling. In that moment, your world falls apart suddenly, unexpectedly stripping away everything you thought was certain. And yet, it’s in those devastating moments that true strength is born, and you must find your way through the storm, no matter how broken you feel, you are still here, still fighting, still capable of rising again.

Many people claim that “Time heals all wounds,” but it’s crucial to understand the profound truth behind those words. It’s not just about the passage of days or months, it's about the relentless, often painful journey of healing that each person must face. No one should ever expect these wounds to disappear in just a few days, weeks, or even years. Healing is a deeply personal voyage, one that unfolds in its own time, shaped by the raw emotions and struggles of every individual's heart. When you suffer a loss, remember: your healing doesn’t follow a schedule. It happens when it’s ready when the heart is finally brave enough to mend itself, no matter how long it takes.

Allow yourself the space to grieve, to heal, to cry with all the intensity your heart feels. Don’t rush or hold back, only you truly know when you’re ready to move forward. Remember, everything happens for a reason, even if that reason remains hidden for now. Trust in time; it will reveal the purpose behind every pain, every loss, guiding you toward understanding and peace.

During this profound moment in your life, allow yourself to truly embrace the beauty of living. Let this be a time of deep self-discovery, a chance to connect with the core of who you are. Reach into the depths of your soul and ask the difficult questions, who are you beyond the roles you've played? If you've spent a lifetime with someone and they're now gone, this is the moment to fiercely love yourself anew. Not just in a fleeting way, but with compassion and tenderness that heals the wounds of separation. Learn to stand on your own, to find strength in solitude, even when it's painfully unfamiliar. The shift from being a couple to walking alone, from being a spouse to mourning a partner, from financial stability to uncertainty can shake the very foundation of your heart. But amidst this storm, do whatever it takes to find peace within. Embrace it fiercely, for in that peace lies the only path to healing and emotional survival. Hold onto hope. Hold on to yourself. You are stronger than you know, and this is the beginning of a new, resilient chapter of your life.

Never let anyone’s negativity or doubts drown out the fire within you. Guard your dreams, your heart’s deepest desires, and your vision with unwavering determination. Your healing journey is sacred, focus solely on yourself, nourishing your soul and reigniting your spirit. Whatever paths you choose, pursue them with fierce courage and unwavering passion. Those who wish to see you fail or diminish your light are the ones you’re better off leaving behind. Life is fragile and unpredictable tomorrow is never guaranteed. So do what fuels your soul, when it feels right, with all your heart. Because in the end, the only person who will stand victorious is YOU, stronger and more alive than ever before.

Till Tomorrow... )0(

Forever Grateful

Thank you to all my readers, friends and family. My grief has lessen since the passing of my beloved Zsazsa. The past 3 months have been extremely difficult. I have not wanted to do anything but drown myself in work to fill the emptiness in my heart. I thought that was the best solution for me at that time. I was definitely wrong.

I’ve been utterly burnt out, completely drained by the weight of life’s struggles. I feel overwhelmed in every way emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. My body is in intense pain, and yet, every morning I wake up knowing I have no choice but to keep fighting. There are days when I feel like I can't go on, and other days when I find a flicker of hope. To everyone who lifts me up when I feel like I’m drowning. I cannot thank you enough. Your love, your support, your kindness, they’re the light in my darkest moments. To all my thousands of followers, dear friends, and family I am endlessly grateful for each and every one of you.

The fact that I have no family here in Vegas with me has deeply wounded my soul. The absence of their physical presence leaves an overwhelming emptiness in my heart. It is a loneliness that words can scarcely capture. I cherish the phone calls, the brief moments of connection, but they can never replace the warmth and comfort of being surrounded by my loved ones. It breaks me apart every time I see others with their families, their loved ones close by, filling their lives with joy and support, while I am left here feeling so isolated, so longing for that familiar comfort. All I have is my husband, and though he's my anchor, the ache of missing my family cuts so painfully deep inside.

As you can see, writing is my true voice, my soul’s loudest cry. After so much time lost in doubt and silence, I’ve finally rediscovered the passion that makes my heart beat faster; doing what I love with every fiber of my being. It’s not just words on paper; it’s my lifeline, a powerful release for my deepest emotions. When I write, I find peace, clarity, and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s more than a hobby. it’s the essence of who I am and what keeps me alive.

Having shared all of this, I eagerly look forward to pouring my heart into shaping more articles and blogs, to craft new and exhilarating stories that will inspire and resonate with each of you. Your time, your love, and your unwavering support mean the world to me, truly, from the depths of my soul, thank you for being part of this journey. I love you all...

Till Tomorrow. )0(