Listen

The holidays aren’t for everyone. There are thousands of people who do not feel the same warm feelings of a Christmas celebration. Sometimes it can become overwhelming for many people for whatever reason. Perhaps there are people, families that are unable to financially enjoy the holidays as they wish with their children and or family. This year of 2020 has taken drastic tolls on many families. It has left millions without the abilities to provide for themselves and or their children.

The current downfall of the economy isn’t the only reason many are hurting. Some people who suffer from depression also take the holidays extremely hard. Sometimes depression is hidden behind the most beautiful smiles. The pain is so unbearable many times it leads to the thoughts of ending it all.

Many people are quick to judge people who are depressed. It is NOT something to “get over.” It is a disease that must be fought in many ways. It can be managed in several ways however there will never be a cure for it.  There will be good days as well as bad days. On those bad days, one must do everything in their power to “get out of the bed”.  One needs to get out of that comfort zone that you feel secure in. Yes it is easier said than done. Do what you must in order to smile; even when you are crying inside. In those times that you feel alone, worthless and or feeling as if it’s the end. It is when you must fight the hardest.  Get out from under that dark cloud and walk yourself into the sunlight. Let the sun shine on you even if it is for a brief moment.

Life is crazy; it has its ups and downs. We all must deal with it in every way possible. Sometimes the people you want to reach out to are in fact the people you’re trying NOT to hurt. So yes it doesn’t help when you’re suffering. It feels like no is or can be there. This is when you must fight harder. Emotional pain is a heavy burden to carry alone. Unfortunately it ends up in tragedies.

At those moments when you’re feeling so down; sometimes someone’s words can make a difference. One person’s caring words can change your mind from ending it all. You just never know whenever you decide to pick up the phone to call that person; you just may have saved them. You may have stopped someone from jumping off a balcony, or taking a bottle sleeping pills or hanging themselves.

No one ever knows or understands the toll depression has on you until it's too late. When someone who has been through it and managed it through their life. There will be days where it is unnoticeable because it’s hidden behind a smile. How can you tell? You can’t; which is why family and friends are shocked when the despair took over and their life was ended. It takes a lot for a person with depression to pick up that phone and ask for help. It’s more painful knowing you’re inflicting more pain on all those who love you. This is why suicide seems to be the answer. You’re free. You’re free from the endless racing thoughts in your head. You’re free from all feelings of worthlessness. No one will understand this except the person suffering. It is not a cop out. It is not a way of acting on impulses. It is a relief. You’re no longer in pain and are no longer hurting others. You don’t worry about being a bad parent, sibling or spouse. They no longer have to live with your struggles. You’re no longer anyone’s burden.

So, I ask you world. PLEASE BE MINDFUL to all those who are not celebrating these holidays. Stop, and really look at someone who is hiding their pain. They may tell you “I love you” when deep inside they’re saying “please hear me”. 

This is me expressing myself today by saying all of this to hopefully reach out to people who are struggling, suffering as I have been the past 2 days and this very moment.

I Love You All... Today, Tomorrow and Always... )0(