Can it be?

The past year has been a roller coaster.  Every single time I think of giving up due to frustration. I somehow manage to find my faith again. I have to keep reminding myself why I am here in this life. Then of course I do ask myself why do I keep getting thrown with harsh issues in life. Can the reason be; because I am suppose to share my story with the world? Is this the reason why I enjoy writing? It just maybe so since it was my "Struggles of Surreal Experiences" that brought me to where I stand today. So, my story continues here.

After looking back at all the struggles I overcame in my life. I finally found peace and joy with it all. The past year I had to deal with a hard blow to my health. Let's just say that dealing with hypothyroidism is just the beginning to a never ending list of health issues down the line.  Due to having this for numerous years. I have now been diagnosed with Sjogren's Syndrome a second autoimmune disease on top of two others I do not wish to share.

FAITH

Every morning when I wake up. I follow a routine for my medications. Today I couldn't help but release my emotions and cry. I grabbed all the bottle of pills and threw them at the walls. I fell to the floor and just cried till I could cry no more. I am not sure if any other person could possibly relate to the overwhelming feelings I had. It is completely frustrating to have to take medications to try and stay healthy (because these diseases are permanent) meaning there are no cures.

Don't get me wrong. I was not in a pity party. I just lost all my composure. I believe I am allowed to do that occasionally. I ended up looking at the bracelet on my wrist & remembering to not lose my faith. I quickly got over my "phase" showered the ugliness I was feeling and went on my day. I kept myself busy throughout the entire day but had so many thoughts running through the back of my head.

I now have to have another surgery for which I was procrastinating. I had a lot on my mind and tried my best to smile. I kept asking myself "WHY, why does this keep happening to me?" Well, I finally figured it out. God does not give me anything I cannot handle. If I got through all the turmoil I went through in the past 2 decades I can get through this as well. Then it hit me. Can it be?  Is this the reason I was put here on this earth? To continue to write and tell my stories? So that others do not feel like they're alone? Can it be? This is my destiny?

If this is it. I am forever grateful that I am on the right path and will continue to do so for as long as I can.  Having said this all and sharing this with the world. I can actually take a deep breath and sigh in relief.

Thank you world for reading and listening me vent virally.... Till tomorrow.. )0(