Inner peace

The past few months were as crazy as can be with my wedding setbacks and all. In the end I am a very happily married woman. I've come to realize these past few weeks that my happiness is not totally based on me getting married; but everything over the years that has led to it.

I can honestly say that over the past 10 years I have had some ups & downs but always got up to fight even harder. Everything from employment, finances, family, health all were great factors in contributing to my struggles but also brought me to my current happiness. Allow me to explain.

We all go through these types of difficulties in life. I am no different than anyone else; however I had the tendacy to be a pessimist on many things. The past year or so something changed; moreso within the past 5 months. I was raised into the catholic relgion and somewhere down the line I lost my faith. At the time I thought I couldn't handle anymore of lifes issues I found myself at my favorite place in the entire world. Yes a church. I use to go there when I was younger just to "talk" to him, to see if he was actually listening to my prayers & pleas. For the first 8 months of 2014 I believed he wasn't. I couldn't understand. The pessimist in me became stronger. Once again I fought harder. I didn't want to be that "debbie downer". I began reading certain things, watching certain things & was back at the church every other day on my way home from work. JUST BECAUSE it felt good. I think by the 4th visit I actually stopped crying and just sat there staring at the statues. When I left the church I felt as if I could breathe better. (Not sure if anyone can relate to that feeling, but it's how I felt)

It was then that it hit me, what I was doing wrong all these years. It's not that he WASN'T listening, it's what I was saying that was wrong. I changed everything and he heard my prayers! He blessed the people that I love, answered my questions & has restored my faith wich has resulted in me having peace in my heart and soul. I am back to being the optimist. Everything happens for a reason & will happen when you trust in him that it will. This is what I believe.

So with this said, I thank you for your time in reading my crazy, neurotic wedding blogs, my thyroid battle & vents to the world. As always I will continue writing straight from the heart & always keeping it real...

Herlinda