Change & Grief

Things shift and people grow, yet for some, time seems frozen stuck in a silent, unchanging moment. The relentless march of time can wear down your soul, leaving scars you never saw coming. One second, you might be overflowing with happiness, feeling on top of the world, and in the next, everything you hold dear can be shattered, forever altered in an instant. The ache of that sudden change is overwhelming, a reminder of how fragile and unpredictable life truly is.

What do you do when this happens? Do you point fingers at the universe, blame someone else, or feel helpless? No, it’s not about fault, it’s about the raw, undeniable truth that life can change in a heartbeat. These upheavals can come from anywhere, anyone, anything. The death of a beloved, the crushing loss of a job, the heartbreaking end of a marriage or relationship. It could be anything that rips apart your sense of peace and leaves you trembling. In that moment, your world falls apart suddenly, unexpectedly stripping away everything you thought was certain. And yet, it’s in those devastating moments that true strength is born, and you must find your way through the storm, no matter how broken you feel, you are still here, still fighting, still capable of rising again.

Many people claim that “Time heals all wounds,” but it’s crucial to understand the profound truth behind those words. It’s not just about the passage of days or months, it's about the relentless, often painful journey of healing that each person must face. No one should ever expect these wounds to disappear in just a few days, weeks, or even years. Healing is a deeply personal voyage, one that unfolds in its own time, shaped by the raw emotions and struggles of every individual's heart. When you suffer a loss, remember: your healing doesn’t follow a schedule. It happens when it’s ready when the heart is finally brave enough to mend itself, no matter how long it takes.

Allow yourself the space to grieve, to heal, to cry with all the intensity your heart feels. Don’t rush or hold back, only you truly know when you’re ready to move forward. Remember, everything happens for a reason, even if that reason remains hidden for now. Trust in time; it will reveal the purpose behind every pain, every loss, guiding you toward understanding and peace.

During this profound moment in your life, allow yourself to truly embrace the beauty of living. Let this be a time of deep self-discovery, a chance to connect with the core of who you are. Reach into the depths of your soul and ask the difficult questions, who are you beyond the roles you've played? If you've spent a lifetime with someone and they're now gone, this is the moment to fiercely love yourself anew. Not just in a fleeting way, but with compassion and tenderness that heals the wounds of separation. Learn to stand on your own, to find strength in solitude, even when it's painfully unfamiliar. The shift from being a couple to walking alone, from being a spouse to mourning a partner, from financial stability to uncertainty can shake the very foundation of your heart. But amidst this storm, do whatever it takes to find peace within. Embrace it fiercely, for in that peace lies the only path to healing and emotional survival. Hold onto hope. Hold on to yourself. You are stronger than you know, and this is the beginning of a new, resilient chapter of your life.

Never let anyone’s negativity or doubts drown out the fire within you. Guard your dreams, your heart’s deepest desires, and your vision with unwavering determination. Your healing journey is sacred, focus solely on yourself, nourishing your soul and reigniting your spirit. Whatever paths you choose, pursue them with fierce courage and unwavering passion. Those who wish to see you fail or diminish your light are the ones you’re better off leaving behind. Life is fragile and unpredictable tomorrow is never guaranteed. So do what fuels your soul, when it feels right, with all your heart. Because in the end, the only person who will stand victorious is YOU, stronger and more alive than ever before.

Till Tomorrow... )0(

Forever Grateful

Thank you to all my readers, friends and family. My grief has lessen since the passing of my beloved Zsazsa. The past 3 months have been extremely difficult. I have not wanted to do anything but drown myself in work to fill the emptiness in my heart. I thought that was the best solution for me at that time. I was definitely wrong.

I’ve been utterly burnt out, completely drained by the weight of life’s struggles. I feel overwhelmed in every way emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. My body is in intense pain, and yet, every morning I wake up knowing I have no choice but to keep fighting. There are days when I feel like I can't go on, and other days when I find a flicker of hope. To everyone who lifts me up when I feel like I’m drowning. I cannot thank you enough. Your love, your support, your kindness, they’re the light in my darkest moments. To all my thousands of followers, dear friends, and family I am endlessly grateful for each and every one of you.

The fact that I have no family here in Vegas with me has deeply wounded my soul. The absence of their physical presence leaves an overwhelming emptiness in my heart. It is a loneliness that words can scarcely capture. I cherish the phone calls, the brief moments of connection, but they can never replace the warmth and comfort of being surrounded by my loved ones. It breaks me apart every time I see others with their families, their loved ones close by, filling their lives with joy and support, while I am left here feeling so isolated, so longing for that familiar comfort. All I have is my husband, and though he's my anchor, the ache of missing my family cuts so painfully deep inside.

As you can see, writing is my true voice, my soul’s loudest cry. After so much time lost in doubt and silence, I’ve finally rediscovered the passion that makes my heart beat faster; doing what I love with every fiber of my being. It’s not just words on paper; it’s my lifeline, a powerful release for my deepest emotions. When I write, I find peace, clarity, and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s more than a hobby. it’s the essence of who I am and what keeps me alive.

Having shared all of this, I eagerly look forward to pouring my heart into shaping more articles and blogs, to craft new and exhilarating stories that will inspire and resonate with each of you. Your time, your love, and your unwavering support mean the world to me, truly, from the depths of my soul, thank you for being part of this journey. I love you all...

Till Tomorrow. )0(

Zsa Zsa

Yesterday, 9/12/2025 at 12:03 pm my 14-year-old chihuahua passed. There isn’t anything that anyone can tell me that will make my heartache any better. She was extremely ill and due to her age and the immobility of her back legs. We had no other option but to let her go. She was severely suffering. I cannot help but have been feeling selfish for trying to hold onto her for as long as we did. I was holding on to hope for her to recover.

She was my last baby. She filled my heart when my youngest son left home. She was the last of the litter that nobody wanted. I was never a dog person but the moment I picked her up and she slid into my sweater for comfort and warmth. She looked up at me with those big bubbly eyes and it was instant love. I cared for her as if she was the daughter I never could have. I loved her so much every day of her life. She literally was a spoiled diva hence her name Zsa Zsa. (IYKYK)

The past few months I noticed she was avoiding me. I would literally go looking for her in every room of our home. I would find her hiding underneath my bed at the headboard. Sometimes I would even find her lying behind an artificial tree in the bedroom corner. From all that I have learned about dogs I believe at this moment she knew she was ready to go and trying to tell me. I just refused to accept it.

Over the past 3 weeks her health deteriorated, and she stopped walking, eating, urinating on herself and lethargic. More than the usual chihuahua does. We took her to the Vet, and he immediately knew but had to offer us all options. Simply provide her with meds for pain relief and play the waiting game. Or letting her go with assistance. We came home and had one last special evening with her. We cried the entire night with uncertainty about which route to go. Was I being selfish to wanting her to fight and hold on so I wouldn’t feel the pain that I do now? I cried all night with my husband. The next morning, we made the decision we would talk to the vet one last time.

We arrived and once he spoke with us. We knew what we had to do. We signed the paperwork, and it was done. It was the most emotional overwhelming heartache I have ever felt in my life. I watched her go and looked directly at her hugging her telling her “I’m sorry, I love you and I will see you again. You’re no longer going to be in pain anymore my baby.” My husband and I looked up at the doctor with his stethoscope in his ears and says, “She’s gone”.  My heart fell to the floor. I hugged her in her blanket and cried like a child. I’m still crying as I type. The memory of this happening has traumatized me. I cannot rid myself of the pain and the emptiness I feel. The worse feeling of all this is the guilt. I cannot help but feel a massive amount of guilt that we let her go. I understand if it was the best thing for her. Why am I consumed with guilt. I should not have done so. This guilt is overwhelming. It has made me fall into a deep depressive state. I no longer wish to live. I want to be with my fur baby. I cannot go on without her. She was more than just a dog. She was my companion. She would be the only one who would listen to me talk about anything. Yes, I know she wouldn’t talk back but she listened. Every time I was in pain or sad and crying, she would come over and lick my tears away. She provided me comfort when there was no one else around. Yes, even when her piercing bark annoys me, I still loved it and would do anything in the world right now to hear that again. She was everything to me and now I am alone again; especially being far away from my siblings and sons. She was all I had and now I have nothing but empty hollowness in me. Why should I continue suffering without her?  I need to be with her. Every room in this house has a wonderful painful memory. Today I lost it as I went to the storage room, and her harness was hanging on the door. I screamed in agony. I have all her toys and bed in one room and won’t get rid of them. I’m so lost in grief, it’s beyond what I expected to handle.

To anyone that says “It was just a dog” stay away from me because I would literally punch you in the throat. An animal that is loved is nurtured, care for; it is LOVE and a part of your life. We are human beings and when you provide love to animals it simply means your heart is filled with love to share with all, humans or animals.

So having said this I hope you can all forgive me in allowing me to vent of the darkness that my baby has led me too.

I love you all and thank you for reading my emotional despair.  )0(

Love Yourself

I am so tired of seeing and hearing from men and women complain about the same thing in their relationships. I cannot keep writing about the same issues in relationships. Although it makes me money & I always keep it real with all my readers. It becomes tiring to answer emails on the same matter. It makes me wonder when you will say: Enough!

• 
  Tip One: Why are you asking the same question for years? If your partner continues to cheat on you. He/She are not to blame; you are, for continuing to take them back. They are not the issue. You have to seriously look deep into yourself and understand why you allow yourself to be manipulated into this type of relationship. Those types of people who continuously cheat will never stop because they know they can keep coming back to you because you accept it. They will lie to your face and tell you “They’re mentally messed up in the head”. They will tell you “how sorry they are, how much they love you and will never do it again.” They will behave great by putting you on a pedestal and make you feel like they’re willing to change. A few days/weeks/months later they’re cheating on you again. There you are crying all over again. Who is to blame? No one but you. Everyone deserves to be loved but you should love yourself enough to know what you’re worth. If you keep accepting the same person you truly do not have any self respect. You have to find out why and make changes for yourself to not accept anything less than you deserve.

• Tip Two: It’s always the same as above. If you know you have someone who doesn’t respect you. A person who cheats on you, lies to you, steals from you, abuses you (mentally or physically). Get away and stay away from them. Life is short and you need to stop wasting your time on someone who doesn’t see what you’re worth. No matter what stories they tell you. 

• Tip Three: Please stop waiting for a knight/princess to come save you. When you love & put yourself first the right person will come into your life. This will happen when you least expect it. If you keep switching from relationship to relationship none will ever work out because you’re too busy worrying and wanting someone to love you. Who is going to love you; when you don’t love yourself?

• Tip Four: If alcohol and drugs are involved in your toxic relationship; that alone is the problem. It’s bad enough you clearly have issues when you accept a narcissist in your life yet alone one who has alcohol/drugs addictions is even worse. Run away & stay away from them. The substance abuse will always affect the so-called relationship. The use of substances will always come first before you do. When the interaction with the use changes their behavior; it will always result in arguments, (temporary breakups because of your insecurities) and possible police involvement, etc, etc. All for what? A person with a substance abuse habit does not know how to love; they will only ever love themselves and do what they love to do; abuse.

• Tip Five: Do not settle for anything less than what you want and deserve from someone. If you want that unconditional, everlasting, passionate, respectful, loyal, devoted kind of love; stop looking for it! When you put yourself first and trust in love it will come to you. Until then everyone that comes by with all the behavior mentioned above are just manipulators & users.

Trust in yourself to know and accept what is right and wrong. Do not fall for the lies because that always comes with heartache, mental anguish, financial loss & you're left with absolutely nothing but the clothes on your back.

I understand this may be harsh for some to read. Like I have said numerous times. I am NOT a therapist. I speak from personal experiences from my life, and all the lives I have seen broken into shattered pieces. I have also seen lives that have been rebuilt and given a love they will forever cherish.

So, yes love does hurt, love can feel great but is definitely and always worth the wait. ALWAYS remember the love that matters the most begins from within.

As always, Keeping it real. Till Next Time. )0(

What's up world

 Yes, it's been awhile. I very long while. I as many others have had to deal with daily life issues. It's taken me a long time to recover from much needed serenity. It came at me physically, mentally, financially in every way one wouldn't expect. 

Anyway, enough time has gone by and I have had to manage my time to squeeze in what I love to do; even if it is just to vent. This is the reason behind how all of this started. As I've mentioned numerous times my writing is not for everyone. I am an emotional writer. I blog whatever the hell I am feeling. My books are different they can be non fiction as well as fictional. I write in the simplest terms so many people can feel comfortable and connected enough to actually feel what I am saying. SO, if my blogs, articles and books aren't to your liking simply flip the page, close the book & stop reading. It's that simple.

I don't write bullshit to gain followers or promote trash talking to get more likes or pay for fake accounts to like my posts. I'm just here doing my thing as I see fit and whenever I can. I am loyal & appreciative of all those who have followed me over the past decades. I thank you for reading, following , listening, sharing and most of all for CARING.

The destructive world we are living in today should make us reach out to each other more often. NOT hate, separate or shut out one another because of political disagreements. I have seen great friendships come to an end because of this. It's heartbreaking. Anyway I won't go down that road with anyone. All I will say is everyone is entitled to freedom of speech and their own beliefs. You simply don't have to lose friendships/relationships or family because of it. I hope and pray many will resolve their indifferences with each regarding that. I always hope for the best. 

So, now that I have gone through so many changes; feeling like a caterpillar who finally came out of the cocoon to become a butterfly. I am ready to leave the 9-5 up on the shelf and just enjoy myself; just like Michael Jackson said. SO yeah I'm back haters, stalkers, friends, readers & followers. Look out for more writings to come your way.

Hope all of you have a blessed day and Have a Happy Father's Day.

Till Next Time. )0(