Strength & Weakness

I pour my soul into these words, bleeding out the pain that consumes me. I write not to show strength, but to release the crushing weight from my trembling heart. This act of writing is my cry for relief, a desperate attempt to heal the wounds that threaten to drown me. I am tired of burdening others with my sorrow, my truth is too raw, too heavy to carry alone.

Sometimes I wonder how I survive it all, how I breathe through this ache that feels endless. Yet amidst the turmoil, I am forever grateful, blessed beyond measure, to have my family and friends standing like anchors when I feel I might be swept away. I am thankful for the roof overhead, a bed to rest in, and the unwavering love and support from those closest to me.

To those who truly see me, you understand the battles I’ve fought my whole life. You know I believe in a higher power, that no matter what God allows, I am resilient enough to endure. I hold onto hope, trusting deeply that this darkness will pass that this chapter is not the end of my story. Shamefully, I admit there are nights when despair becomes so overwhelming, I wrestle with the thought of just ending it all, to escape this constant misery. But then I grab my pen, and I write with everything I have left. Sometimes I reach for my phone, seeking a voice to hear, a connection to remind me I am not alone. Yet even in these moments, I hesitate; afraid of burdening others with my pain, unwilling to become a source of sorrow for those I love.

Even as I walk with my head held high and wear a smile so bright. I conceal the ache deep within my soul. I laugh without pause, pretending everything is alright, yet inside, a storm rages silently. I hide my pain so fiercely that sometimes, when I’m alone in the shadows, I’m overwhelmed by fear, the fear of how much I’ve kept inside, the fear of the darkness I've fought so hard to hide.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but sometimes it overwhelms me so deeply, I start to believe I am. I find myself asking, why do so many bad things keep happening to me? I search for answers, but they remain just out of reach. All I can do is hold onto my faith, believing with all my heart that GOD will see me through every storm, every pain, every heartbreak. It’s that unwavering trust that keeps me hanging on, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

This is my reality. This is my unspoken truth. And though it wounds me, I cling to the hope that one day, brighter days will come. Until then, I will continue to fight, to write, to pray for healing, for peace, for strength to carry on.

Thank you for reading & as always "I Got This".... )0(