There are so many
things going on in the world. I feel selfish wallowing in my troubles. Yet I have to find a way to release &
accept all that I am enduring somehow. The how is through the only way I know
to do so; writing.
No matter what
difficulties I face. I continue to smile
with hopes that I will eventually feel that way inside very soon. It is a little hard to put on a happy face
when you feel like shit inside. Yet, I still do it.
Today was the last day.
I decided I wasn’t going to hide behind
my pain anymore. All that troubles me will soon be dealt with. I can only hope for the best in every problem
I’ve encountered. This past weekend has been exhausting. I have simply accepted the fact that I am on
a downward spiral & can’t stand up.
Well at least right now I’m stuck.
I cannot get the
answers I need. I cannot move forward
unless I just let everything go & walk away from it all. That is exactly what I have decided to do.
To ALL those who are
hurting me with your words, ways & actions; I am done. I no longer choose to be waiting in silence
for your attention.
To my doctors who want me
to do what is best for them; I am done. To my insurance providers who only want
to pay for what they feel they should; I am done.
To ALL the people I
have helped because I couldn’t stand baring the thought of you going without; I
am done.
I AM DONE doing &
going out of my way for anyone other than myself now. From this day forward I will live my life DAY
BY DAY as it is blessed to me every time I wake up. I will love, live & breathe life as much
as my mind & body will allow it too.
I will do & go as I
came into this world with nothing. I
have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes on my back & someone
watching over me daily. That is all I need. I am done; NOW I will smile....
Till tomorrow.. )0(
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