I wrote something the other day as I always do in a way of allowing myself to heal. Every day is not a battle but a struggle for me. There are many times when I have no energy and some where I have a little too much. I don't mean to come of cocky or arrogant. I have my ways in speaking & of course writing; however I have been learning how to deal with "stress, pain & anger" in much more positive ways than speaking impulsively. Sometimes; well more like MOST of the times a tad harsh to people. Please forgive me. I am not an angry person. I believe I was made this way (many years ago) and it got me through some rough times; but I think that with everything that I am going through these days I just want to live with harmonial peace in every aspect of my life. Well at least in my heart & mind....
Don't get me wrong I will always voice my opinions & give advice when seeked; but I will use a little more sincerity. Well maybe, depending on the topics.. lol.. (Can't change me totally). Many people call me controversial.. Why?? Because I tell you what you NEED to hear instead of what you WANT to hear? Well sometimes we need the harsh truth to learn from it and perhaps become better people. I think that is what I'm doing here.
I'm not saying that I deserve what I am going through because "THIS" truly is not to be wished upon anyone no matter how "mean" you believe a person to be... Oh yeah and by the way YES I have been called mean, cold hearted, ruthless, reckless, bitch, etc.. Those are just words deep inside my heart (yes I have one) I know that I love & care for everybody. I give to the homeless people on the highway (even when I'm told they're begging for alcohol). I give when I can. It's God who will judge them not I. I have donate my time and baking abilities to food pantry shelters on Friday's and I simply help anyone WHEN I am able to..
I've been mad for few weeks now knowing what I know and been going through but have come to terms with it and will see it in a different light each and everyday. Ok, well at least I'm going to do my best in trying. Someone very special to me told me yesterday that using my writing will help me get through this in a positive way. I must admit. Thank you to her and today's blog; I smiled....
Another dear friend told me "You don't need to go through this alone; this is where you will see who your real friends are." I honestly don't think my friends really understand what is going on because I have not been so specific with details. When I'm ready to announce it to the world; I shall or when you see me sporting a hot pink wig with ghetto fabulous hoop earrings; I'm sure you will understand...
So, before you comment on my articles and blogs about how I should stop being harsh, mean to women or men on relationships. I highly suggest that you get the stick out of your ass and accept that EVERYONE in the world is NOT perfect or happy... They just like to portray they are; everyone has an unpleasant day or week.
I HAVE to look in the mirror EVERYDAY, I don't like what I see & will not like what's to come but it won't stop me from Never looking at myself; with that said perhaps some of you should take a better look at your reflection.
Neena44
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