Light at the end of the tunnel

This entire past week has been just a little overwhelming. I always try to do so much and in the end the only one that sees my value & worth are the people who, wait I'm sorry they're not any. This week has shown me much of particular people & how they truly are. I guess sometimes when you try to see only what you want to see, you will be played the fool for not looking at the flaws also.

I have done so much to help particular people, push them into striving for more out of life, listen to them when they need a shoulder to cry on. In life there is only so much one can do for others. It's time for them to face their own bullshit, whatever the case maybe. Stop blaming everyone & everything in the universe for your issues.

Many have called me mean & blunt; some have said I am naive & too nice, Hmm, go figure. All I know is that the time has come for me to stop caring about what others do or don't do and how badly it affects me.  I have vowed from this day on to live for me and worry for myself; If I don't who will?

I know that I have done everything I possibly can to move forward in life, but it doesn't seem fair to me that I get pulled back by people who claim they love me. Will I ever learn? I won't sit here & waste my time any longer wondering "Why am I struggling"? Why am hurting? Why do I feel alone? I know why, and the solution is right in front of my face it either gets corrected or I eliminate the issue at once. Geez, sounds like I may kill someone. (Just a saying people) 

I went and met with someone for a great financial opportunity, who seemed to notice all my qualifications that she is looking for, as I walked away I seen multiple "Youngeons" is what I call them; (females in their little short skirts and jackets) I couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. My BFF convinced me that people look for maturity & experience not young & ditzy. I will have to remember that at upcoming meetings so I can laugh in silence. I will remain positive.

I have so much build up inside me it has cause me to physically become ill. When I finally yell out all my emotions (because for some odd reason that's the only way I think I'm heard) my heart races and feels like my fucking head is going to explode. Oh well, yes after being told "Take it easy, Relax" I literally have no choice but to do so.

So, I have been quiet for the past few days, not speaking, basically just a vegetable laying around, gave me time to think things through rationally & relax (yes I did it) and am feeling better. I will return back to work tomorrow, wait patiently for that 2nd call and pray from then on that my life will change for the better. I believe everything that is happening to me is all leading to something significant in my life.

I finally see there is a light at the end of the tunnel...)0(