I'm not broken yet.

I sit here at my desk with so many thoughts running through my head and the only solution I can actually come up with is this. I guess sometimes we have to take a few steps backwards in order to move forward.  I NEVER not once thought I would be reliving a pattern in my life. Well, not so much a pattern but as someone dear said to me today; taking steps to better myself. I have come a long way from where I was years ago & a few hours ago felt all that I have progressed & achieved in life was for nothing. NOT! Learning everything I have in the past made me see things more clearly today. Some people will not understand, some will.

 

I have learned that I am not perfect nor made of steel; I am not a rock; I am as human as anyone else & love with everything that I feel. People can hate me, rate me, shake me;but in the end I'm the one that decides if they can break me. >>>>>>>>>>>

 

We all go through so many difficulties every single dam day of our lives. Some people who love their job have to struggle with issues of firing idiot employees, who can care less about being employed. Then there's people who are obsessed with how they look.(Really? Who cares?).  Everyone has difficulties (financial or emotional) it's learning how to deal with them that really matter. It's part of life.

 

Life can seriously fuck you up sometimes.(Yeah, I said it, don't hate me for it) If you allow it too. Each & every person is different in handling problems in their own ways. Some find "the easy way" for financial gain while other's will use more logical & legal methods. (which is really the right way). Like I said, every person will handle business the way they can or the way they see fit. I on the other hand can only speak for myself and say that I asked for help when I least expected to ever need it again. I cried when I realized I needed it & cried harder as I am accepting it; and in time will tell you how the help has (if at all) affected me or changed me.

 

So, I guess bottom line is. Taking a few steps backwards to move forwards isn't as bad as I thought it would be. At least for now,,,, this very minute it isn't.  I'm not broken yet......... Neena44